Knucklesland, Writing

Knuckles Report: Week 8

I got a new job last week – it’s right up my alley in that I can do it while watching TV or listening to podcasts. It is not up my alley in that it involves helping a guy whose passion and livelihood are dependent upon fishing. (This is different than my regular job which is helping a guy whose passion is fishing but whose livelihood, thankfully, has nothing to do with it.)

I call it my jellyfish job. They call them “plastics” which is funny to me because they are little pieces of bait that feel like gummi bears. Indeed, I have deftly avoided a couple of mishaps made possibly by also having a snack of Skittles while I work. I don’t want to put these jellyfish in my mouth as they have an oil on them that is decidedly gross and difficult to remove, even with a Coke which, if I remember the hysterical rambling of dentists correctly, could clean rust off cars with its acidity.

It is great to have a gig where watching baseball is built right into my schedule. It’s encouraged, even! Keeps me in one spot and focused. I’m beginning to think this has been the cure for my A.D.D. all along. I also think it has led to a series of trades because, as I sit, I come up with ideas for what my team might need.

The benefit of this is that my team basically needs everything. It’s like someone showed me a list of “Most Likely To Underperform” and I said, “Yes! I’ll take them all!”

Shout out to Joe Musgrove’s surprise relief appearance which saved my ERA/WHIP bacon.

This week is a showdown with Peaches. Feel the mediocrity burn.


The batter of the week is also the current leading batter on the season which is the least surprising thing ever. It is no secret that my adoration for Fernando Tatis, Jr., knows no bounds, but this week, he managed to get Houston Astros fans to unironically complain about his last of decorum and respect when he stood to watch his homerun clear the railroad tracks. I’m gonna be straight up honest: If I hit a ball 600 feet, I’d stand and watch it and then probably ask to see the replay before I even bothered to run the bases. He is just a joy to behold.

Pitcher of the week is Brandon Woodruff. I wonder how many weeks this season that the top pitcher will be a Brewer. I suppose that depends on how many weeks this season Jacob deGrom’s starts get rained out.

Have a good week, everyone!

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