Knucklesland, Writing

Knuckles Report: Week 5

I have told many people this stat because I saw it on Twitter and didn’t believe it myself because I just couldn’t fathom how it could even be remotely possible. And then I saw the actual math and it just blows my mind.

Albert Pujols got a hit off of 10.2% of all MLB players who have ever thrown even one pitch in a game.

In the ENTIRE history of Major League Baseball.

19,979 players in MLB history.
10,501 of them have thrown at least one pitch.
1,072 of those gave up a hit to Pujols.

1,072/10,501 = 10.21%

He’s the leader in this “category” which I assume isn’t even really a category because it’s too insane to really even think about. My understanding is that this was only possible because he switched leagues, played forever, and was just stupid levels of good as a hitter.

Indeed, I think that 500 of those 1,072 pitchers played for the Cubs.


Adolis Garcia led the league in the hitting categories last week. I stared at him when he was on waivers and kept telling myself that he would fall off shortly. The list of players I kept instead of picking him up is pretty embarrassing, really, but I pay attention to Rangers games almost entirely because of him.

Speaking of the Rangers — does anyone personally know a Texas Rangers fan? I have a whole lot of baseball friends whom I’ve met over the years through any variety of ways and I am pretty sure I’ve never met one. They are the team I am most likely to forget if people ask me to name all MLB teams. This is a product of both being a National League fan and the Texas Rangers being the most forgettable franchise in all of sports, in my opinion.

John Means is the pitcher of the week. I watched his no-no while working and as they entered the ninth, I hadn’t had a customer in probably 10 minutes (which is essentially infinity at the shop). I thought, ‘Please please please don’t come in.’

Shortly after I thought that, four cars pulled in and the first through the door was a known customer who isn’t easy. And she brought three little bundles of toddler joy (read: noise) with her. I continued to watch while organizing her stuff and we got down to the final out. And when he finished it, I said, “Yes!” very excitedly. The customer asked what was exciting and I said, “Oh a guy just finished a no-hitter and those are always fun.”

She nodded and then asked, “What sport is that?”

I just don’t understand why everyone doesn’t love everything I love.

Have a good week, everyone!

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