Knucklesland, Writing

Knuckles Report: Week 2

I’m not a podcast fan. I can only listen to them if I am doing something mind numbing, like painting my bedroom a color combination that is strange and yet somehow still works. Basically, I have to be doing something where I am not tempted to read anything because I cannot read and listen to podcasts without tuning out the podcast entirely.

I finally found one that fits my criteria: It is typically less than 40 minutes long and it’s about baseball. This holds my attention.

The thing about this podcast is that it is sponsored by Manscape. For those of you who like human interaction and thinking about life, you may not be familiar with Manscape as it is, from what I have gathered, some sort of special razor men use to shave their … boy parts. Or backs. Or whatever. Their flagship product is called The Lawnmower 3.0 if you were curious about how “manly” this product is.

So now I am getting a daily morning dose of testicle puns and visual imagery that I would rather not have. All in the name of joining the podcast revolution and having two guys tell me how they love Marcus Stroman and how they hate Zach Plesac an equal and opposite amount. Apparently this is the Newton’s Law of pitching.

While I know that I am not the targeted demographic of almost everything I enjoy, I cannot remember having a less-aware product sponsor a thing I like.

Well, give or take the Viagra/Cialis revolution of sponsoring every.single.sporting.event for a few years there. Thank goodness that has been almost entirely replaced by the gambling revolution wherein I can lay $5 on whether or not the next gambling commercial will be DraftKings or FanDuel.

Exciting. Nothing ever goes wrong when gambling and professional sports marry each other.


Ronald Acuna left the Sunday night thrashing of the Cubs with a strained abdomen from sliding head first while up by 8 runs. Prior to this, he’d spent the week going 14/28 with 14 runs, 4 HR, 10 RBI, and slashing .464/.543/1.000. No big.

Tyler Glasnow had a two-start week and dropped a cool 21 strikeouts in 12.2 innings. Had a disastrous matching ERA and WHIP of 0.71. And he wears high socks.

I own Mr. Glasnow in a dynasty league. The only reason I drafted him as a prospect was because it was an auction and he seemed highly coveted and I had money left. I outbid the guy who wanted him almost out of spite because I’m pretty sure he drafted Kershaw.

Never accuse me of being “above” anything in fantasy baseball when it comes to Clayton. (Who finished second in pitching Player Rater this week, btw, so of course I worked him into this Knuckles Report strictly because I’m the commissioner and I can.)

Good luck in Week 3, everyone!

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