Field Reports

Field Report: Day 25

Sergeant K

Been a lot of “read the room” tweets going around lately. Find myself saying it, perhaps too much. Don’t want to undermine its meaning. It just fits so well.

Made 975 copies for a civilian. They needed everything in triplicate, done in packs of 14 or less, all of which were stapled. And unnumbered.

Only ran one bunch twice. Felt accomplished. It is a well-known fact I struggle the most with the copy machine. Only time I’ve ever cried at work was over copies.

This is even more amazing when you consider I use razors every day.

Had a customer say, “Such a hassle” when frustrated while trying to be a good citizen and redirect a package to a former tenant’s new address. Customer had mask on. I said, “What?” They repeated it. I said, “Oh! I thought you called me a name for some reason.” They burst out laughing.” “Goodness, no. You’re a delight.”

Back to the “read the room” customer of the day.

Comes in to ship some items from a local store. “They said I had to wear a mask,” he angrily explains. “I told them it was against my religion.”

He did that giggle thing waiting for me to giggle at his wittiness. I did a “harrumph” which deeply channeled Wilford Brimley’s voice. (A man who is still alive, by the way, and is only 85 years old. Which I say because I thought he was 85 when he filmed Cocoon. He was, instead, 50.)

“They said I needed to wear one and they had one for $1. I said that was fine but then they’d better fucking take that $1 off my purchase.” He did that grimace face, getting himself all worked into a lather. “Their shit is overpriced anyway.”

I was wearing a shirt with a rainbow colored Oilers logo and some very loud and proud shoes.

Did I charge this man an extra $1 in packing? Absolutely. I can dole out karma $1 at a time. No problem. My pleasure.

Colonel C

Got a new headset today for all of my web-based meetings because, and I quote, “I have tiny ear holes.”

Got Sergeant into puzzles. Having her do the Periodic Table of Elements one because she never gets chemistry questions right during trivia.

I can dole out karma one puzzle at a time. No problem. My pleasure.

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