Field Reports

Field Report: Day 18

Sergeant K

Took two-wheel tank to the field today. Forgot face mask. Realized it was 40 degrees outside a little too late. Definitely a chilly little trip.

Pattern of the day, all day: If only one of us was there, line out the door. If both of us were there, we could have played an entire game of Monopoly. Except Monopoly sucks. Probably more likely we’d tape our own hands together and then race to see who could free themselves first.

Laughed with customers a lot. Not sure what stages of Pandemic Reaction are, but we are definitely rapidly cycling through them.

I’ve been practicing my “Do not even attempt to discuss these “protests” with me if you think they’re a good idea” face in the mirror. Complete success today. Must work on the “No, I don’t think there is religious meaning behind this happening in the year 2020” face.

Private Ryan told me that fishing with his 4-year-old is “probably what it would be like” to go fishing with me. I’d argue but only insofar as I am much more likely to fall in the water than the kid is.

The Huckleberry Row Jackrabbits are 38-9 currently. I also discovered I can compete in tournaments so I will most likely die setting a virtual baseball roster. Or getting hit by a goose while scootering. Or choking on a gummi bear.

Have been on a kick of watching Michael J. Fox movies from the 80s-90s NOT in the Back to the Future family. This morning was Doc Hollywood and we’re about to watch The Secret of My Success.

We almost weren’t going to get to watch the second one because the DVD was downstairs. Planned to rent on VUDU for $2.99 instead. Rental price is $3.99. Apparently, that $1 difference is when I will walk downstairs.

While downstairs, saw the Colonel had the ping pong table half up and sewing machine out. Asked if she was sewing masks. Told me she watched a video on turning socks into masks. Promptly put one on her face. Never been prouder of her.

Colonel C

Became all the rage of the neighborhood by having two truckloads of dirt and mulch delivered for the raised bed garden. From the look of it, by “raised” she is planning on starting the garden 10 feet in the air. Old men and little kids love to talk about dirt apparently. Had to shoo both groups away from playing on it. Would hate to be liable for dirt-related injury.

Will create sign that says “No, it’s not a swimming pool” to place by road.

Hope she will wear sock mask to work in tomorrow.

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