Field Reports

Field Report: Day 14

Sergeant K

Hesitated to enter the field, lest Christmas in April continue. Was so tired over weekend. Rested calmly. Played a thousand hours on Super Complicated Baseball Game. Realized game is literally electronically building and trading baseball cards. It suffices.

Customer offered extremely detailed idea that synergized drones and commencement ceremonies. Got slightly lost in the workings of said idea; offered idea to maybe to do a ceremony in November or December. Admitted the drones sounded way more fun.

Private Ryan and I are hanging the confetti guns to celebrate our one millionth face mask shipped. Expect this milestone to happen tomorrow.

Customers thank us profusely for being open, for our service. Seem to genuinely care about the health of the business. Was easier to smile and engage on a busy Monday but not a Christmas Monday.

More antiques. This sucker is cool. It is also loud. Private Ryan and I may make it the store music going forward. Everyone likes to yell addresses at each other.

Also need to pack 5-pound ceramic light bulb. Don’t’ even know what that is.

Typing with gloves remains difficult. Typed “River Riding Lane” instead of “River Ridge Lane.” Fully convinced brain adopted the double Rs and transposed it to “Red Riding Hood” instantaneously. Not sure this is related to gloves. Will use excuse as necessary.

Received feedback that 6-year-old loved pink bubble wrap in package from her grandma. Asked if this was intentional. Completely intentional. If you’ve forgotten the excitement of bubble wrap as a child, I am sorry for your loss.

Delivered first round of Zero Sum Sandwiches to veterinary clinic. Received grateful email that said, “Thank you so much for the lunches today. It really boosted team spirit and morale and gave us extra hope for the future. Thank you for what you are doing.”

Grateful for kindness. Grateful for continuing to feel helpful. Grateful for virtual baseball card collection and game simulation. Grateful to be surrounded by people who support a 40-year-old lesbian’s enjoyment of virtual baseball cards and game simulations.

Colonel C

Made Sergeant’s favorite dinner rolls. Covered with aluminum foil. Was surprised she didn’t take one to work. Realized aluminum foil basically made them invisible to her. Revealed rolls at dinner like she was a contestant on “The Price is Right.” Reaction very similar to regular contestents. She’s special.

Leave a Reply