Field Reports

Field Report: Day 10

Sergeant K

Shipped jigsaw puzzles today. Apparently, these are like toilet paper now?

Talked to someone in the yarn industry. Discussed some ideas about providing yarn in such difficult times. “I doubt you have to hurry,” I said. “I assume people who knit for a living are exceptionally patient.”

Are there hyperactive knitters? (Just looked up “yarners” in case that was a thing. It is. It means people who tell tales. I am a yarner who needs no actual yarn. Alanis-level irony right there.)

Placed a huge order for boxes. Got free gift. Couldn’t decide on free gift. Private First Class Coworker is getting a plaid fleece-lined flannel. “It can be part of my work uniform,” said the Girl Who’s Always Cold.

Remembered auction winners are insufferable. Buyer in Los Angeles won three massive chandeliers which include THIRTEEN late-1800s pristine condition glass globes. Wanted a quote. Told him we had no idea what the diameter of the glass is so couldn’t give a number. Told me to guess. Typed out “Eleventy billion dollars.” Didn’t send.

Very long curved items came in, one after another, around 3:30. Needed to add exactly 1 inch to our tallest box. Fashioned a “closing” device (cardboard) and shrink wrapped/taped it to death. Very attractive.

Shipped a copy of “Contagion” twice. One in an Easter basket. Special.

Didn’t ride two-wheel tank to field in anticipation of rain. Did not rain. Still no baseball. Disappointment abounds.

Colonel C

Cleaned office and threw all of Sergeant’s things in Sergeant’s office. Might put lock on door so none of it comes back in. Made lemon drop cocktail; did not like. Should remain martini person. Glad that is settled. Tomorrow begins the war. Told Sergeant she can only do fun things where I can see her so I can avoid FOMO BUT get increasingly annoyed/frustrated at her. Win-win all around.

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