Field Reports

Field Report: Day 9

Sergeant K

And back to toilet paper we go.

One customer brought two cases in to ship in a nondescript closed box and quietly asked me not to open it until no one else was in the store. Police officers would have questioned us just on suspicion had they seen.

Indeed, as I packed said toilet paper when I thought “the coast was clear” or whatever, another customer walked in and promptly exclaimed, “Two cases?!? Where did you find that?”

Steady stream of people. More random Easter baskets. More…. of these.

Auction calls have begun in earnest. Will buy super expensive delicate item for thousands of dollars and then complain about the $200 it costs to ship it. “I mean, we could just not pack it?” I offered to one of them.

This is why I have Wednesdays off.

Took another auction phone call. Gentleman demanded to speak to Private Ryan. “He’s not here,” I responded because Private Ryan was not there. Gave me his phone number. “I’d like to tell Ryan how to pack this so please make sure he gets this message, Girl.”

So many reasons that message won’t get passed along.

Customer told me she broke both a finger and a toe while gardening. I asked if she took a zipline to her garden each day. She laughed. Still.

Received multiple tips today. Actual money. Not tips on how to avoid the virus. Tried to turn down each one. Customer insisted each time. All I could think was that I didn’t want to have to fill in that box on my taxes.

Took a package from regular customer home with me on two-wheel tank to deliver in my neighborhood. Begged customer to warn friends I would be coming to the door. Look on their faces said she didn’t mention I’d arrive in the glow-in-the-dark highlighter jacket they could see from space.

Too much fresh air. Must rest.

Colonel C

Put up ceiling fan single-handed in Sergeant’s office. Sergeant failed to notice. Felt dejected. Told Sergeant her hair was getting long and poofing out the back of her baseball cap. Felt better.

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