Field Reports

Field Report: Day 3

Sergeant K

Awoke early even though there was no bugle call.

Rain forms lakes everywhere. Thought about going for a swim. Saw two cardinals frolicking outdoors. Still said “F***ing Cardinals” out loud. Baseball grief continues.

Did not see sunrise due to lack of sun. Still do not see the thrill of the sun rising outweighing the extra rest I need. But disappointed to miss it when insomnia created the chance.

Prepped my “Madness” story. Began multiple dispatches to friends stuck in their homes. Read some. Worried to admit it is not The Art of War.

Arrived at field post at midday. Began asking customers to show their work and cite sources whenever they tell us what they think they know.

“They found a vaccine” was big today. Apparently, someone froze multiple gallons of milk in tubs should a milk shortage occur. Panic turned to a run on eggs and bread. I just don’t like French toast as much, I guess.

Butcher shops running out of hamburger now. Good thing Colonel purchased frozen cheeseburger MREs. Not sure how many days of starvation are required for those to taste good.

Shipped bull semen. Learned about the job that exists for a person to drive around the countryside and test bull virility before selling the animal for a million dollars. Used to say there is no such thing as bad knowledge. Beginning to reconsider.

Private Ryan instructed us to “clean the guns, knives, and mice” with Lysol. Sleep deprivation formed strange picture and caused confusion. Promptly cleaned tape guns, box cutters, and computer equipment when confusion abated.

Rain continues. Hope for sleep tonight. The daunting tasks of Friday lay ahead.

Colonel C

Stopped me as I left for the field to tell me that the rain will wash away the leftover sand and my two-wheeled vehicle may soon be usable. Watching movies starring The Rock. Did not make cheeseburger MRE. Seems hopeful again. Hair continues to grow.

For more on The Field Reports, please check out how it all began on Day 1.

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