Field Reports, Writing

Field Report: Day 2

Sergeant K

Began my day by watching “Cocktail” because it was my answer to a Twitter question of “Which movie is made significantly better by its soundtrack/score?” Do the songs “Kokomo” and “Don’t Worry Be Happy” really make this movie better? No. Would I remember anything about this movie had the soundtrack not been awesome? Absolutely not a chance.

More doomsday shipping today but at least no one handed me their credit card after having it in their mouth. #blessed

Conspiracy Hour was 4:15 to 5:15 today. “We need more ammunition” and “It’s all political because it’s an election year” and “All those sheeple following the guidelines” were popular today.

PSA: Retail workers are not captive audiences for your conspiratorial thoughts. Just because your wife doesn’t want to hear it anymore doesn’t mean any of us are interested in it.

Spent some time working on fantasy baseball spreadsheets for the imaginary baseball season. Pictured my life becoming so void of baseball that I slip into psychosis and begin making up how games not being played would go. Convinced myself I would still probably screw my own fantasy team without realizing it in said simulations.

One of my favorite customers asked very seriously if I would be okay without baseball. He said he’d support me in my time of need. I would have hugged him if it wasn’t currently illegal.

We are considered an “essential” business according to the Department of Homeland Security. So we’ve got that going for us. Shipped a 3-foot tall metal replica of the Eiffel Tower to prove that point loud and clear.

Dogs are bored. Children are doing sprints in the street. Everything here is a ghost town except for liquor stores. Alas.

Colonel C

Bought frozen foods from the Schwan’s lady. Did not buy ammunition. Made General Tso’s chicken from frozen foods section of our basement. Was surprised by how good it was. Seems very happy to be alive. Annoying.

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