It is day two of my exercise regimen, a pursuit that you will only hear about through humorous tales such as “I fell down on the treadmill trying to continue a Facebook argument” and “Why oh why can’t the bike have an air conditioner under the seat to help prevent your crotch from overheating?”
Today we will talk about setting up rewards for ourselves.
Carrie and I were discussing what might motivate us to get into better shape. Since I am a therapist, I know that rewards are motivational and therefore, we need a prize at the end of the very sweaty, uncomfortable, deprived-of-sleep-because-we-are-doing-this-in-the-mornings tunnel.
Not that there is an end to this tunnel. But that’s for another chronicle.
Anyway, we were brilliant and decided that whoever wins our strange “Biggest Loser” competition gets to pick our next vehicle.
This sounds excellent on paper. I mean, that’s pretty motivational. Which one of us is going to pick the orange Jeep that we both want? Scintillating theater.
But then I got to thinking… This is motivational in a very awkward way. The most direct route to winning is to sabotage the other person. Imagine a scenario wherein one partner gets to randomly bring home doughnuts that sit on the counter while her wife works from home all day and is a doughnut addict.
Or picture this: One partner does all of the cooking. (Not some of it…We are nearing 12 years in and I have never made a meal…) What is to stop said wife from adding extra butter to one meal while leaving her own bland and without fat?
Nothing will stop these events from occurring because they are all easier than working out. Using this reward system, there is a better chance we will both actually weigh more and do less simply in the hopes of the other person failing more miserably.
This is teamwork. This is marriage.
Welcome to the Fat Chronicles.